Ask the OT: How Do I Get My Older Baby to Want to be Worn?
It can be so challenging to feel like you need to wear your baby and have them refuse. Is there really a way to get baby to want to be worn? If your find yourself in this situation, we recommend:
- Pause and regulate yourself.
- Find the cause of your kid's frustration.
- Try to make babywearing a rewarding experience.
- Evaluate whether you actually need to babywear in the moment.
- Remind yourself why you babywear to begin with.
Read on for more on these practical tips from an OT on babywearing your child when they don't want to be worn.
THE SHORT VERSION
- Regulate yourself first: Stay calm and grounded to help your baby feel safe and supported during transitions into the carrier.
- Understand their needs: Check for basic needs (hunger, diaper, comfort) and respect what your baby may be engaged in before trying to wear them.
- Make babywearing enjoyable: Offer small toys, snacks, or fun activities like singing and dancing to create a positive association with being worn.
- Respect their autonomy: If your baby clearly doesn’t want to be carried and it’s safe, allow them the choice not to be worn at that moment.
- Reconnect with your “why”: Remember babywearing is about bonding and closeness, not just convenience—focus on the connection it fosters.
Table of Contents
What Are Occupations Anyway?
In the OT world, “occupations” are any meaningful daily activities that people participate in. Some occupations are “co-occupations”, meaning they take multiple people to successfully engage. Parenting is full of co-occupations, and babywearing is one of them. For babywearing to be a positive and successful experience, both the parent and the child must be comfortable, supported, and willing to participate. But we’ve all encountered times our babies just don’t want to get in the carrier, and it can feel incredibly frustrating if you want or need them to be carried. So, what can we do as parents to turn this frustrating experience into a positive and successful co-occupation? Let’s look at some strategies!
Pause and Regulate Yourself
The first and most important step in engaging in a co-occupation where the other participant (in this case - your baby) is having a hard time, is to make sure you’re capable of engaging in a positive way and providing more support. So if you see that they’re having a hard time and that it will be a difficult transition into the carrier:
- Pause
- Take a second to ground yourself
- Take a few deep breaths
- Unclench your jaw
- Relax your shoulders
- Focus on staying calm
The more relaxed and steady you can be, the easier it will be for them to calm down. When you both approach the carrier from a calm place, the chances are higher that you will turn this tough transition into a happy babywearing experience.
Find the Cause of Their Frustration
Start with the basics: Are they hungry? Do they need their diaper changed?
And then get deeper: Are they positioned well? Is their clothing sitting comfortably against their skin? Do they need a moment of connection and a hug from you before you put the carrier on?
And finally, one cause of frustration that parents often forget about as their baby gets older and more interested in the world around them: Were they ready for the transition? Maybe your baby was engaged in a task of their own. Then you walked over and abruptly scooped them up and away from their important business. Now they’re frustrated because they wanted to continue with what they were doing. Checking in on what they’re doing when deciding to put them in the carrier can be really helpful for a smoother and more successful transition. Maybe you can even carry over the activity they were engaged in and make babywearing more rewarding for them!
Babywearing as a Rewarding Experience
Were they playing with a small toy that could be easily held in the carrier? Let them hold it!
If your baby is eating solids, try offering safe snacks like meltable yogurt dots or puffs for them to enjoy in the carrier. Nurse them if you’re comfortable doing so, or offer a drink.
Make it fun for both of you! Add in singing, dancing, spinning, and being silly and engaging at the start of your attempt.
Go outside or do an interesting task so they have something to enjoy watching while you wear them.
Sometimes, The Answer is To Stop
If your little one is clearly signaling they do not want to be carried and you are able to put them down safely, put them down. It can feel sad for you as the parent if you were looking forward to carrying them, but remember that you both need to be willing to engage for babywearing to go well.
As your baby grows, they will want more freedom and autonomy, and you are supporting their development by giving them that. Know that there will be other times when they really want to be carried, and that you have created a safe and warm space for them to seek comfort and connection by listening to and respecting their feelings as well as your own.
But What if It's Not Safe to Put Them Down?
Maybe you're in a busy parking lot and your toddler refuses to hold your hand. Maybe you need to leave the zoo right now to get home in time to pick up your kindergartener, and you simply cannot walk at a baby pace. Maybe your toddler is throwing a tantrum, and you know that a babywearing snuggle will cure them if they just let it happen.
Whatever the reason, sometimes babywearing really is a need. It can be some families' first experience with boundary-setting as their child grows. You can absolutely explain it to your child regardless of their age in a simple and matter-of-fact way. "We can walk together if you hold my hand. If you can't hold my hand, you will go into the carrier." Then follow through. Even if they're technically too little to understand, they will get used to experiencing a clear boundary.
Carriers That Go On Fast
When your little one is fighting being worn, every second counts. These are the carriers that go on quickest, so you can scoop and snuggle before the wiggles win.
Ring Sling
The fastest one-and-done option. Pre-thread it once and you can pop your toddler in within seconds, no clips, no buckles, no fighting with a wiggly target. Perfect for hip carrying and quick snack-and-go moments.
Lark Baby Carrier
Pre-buckle the waistband and you're halfway there. Once your wiggler is in, the structured panel keeps them secure even when they protest. Front, hip, or back carry, so you can offer them the view they actually want.
Lark Kid Carrier
For when they're "too big to be carried" but their legs give out at the zoo. Quick clip-and-go up to 65 lbs, so unexpected meltdowns and sick days don't strand you. Built for 3T and up.Remember Why You Babywear
Above all, remember your “why” during frustrating moments! Yes, babywearing is useful and convenient and helps us get things done while caring for our child. But what really matters, and what drives the desire to babywear for many of us, is the connection, comfort, and closeness that babywearing fosters.
Make those moments of connection the center of your babywearing experience, focus on the love you have for your child, and remember that the hard moments are few and far between compared to all of the wonderful memories you’ve made together with your carriers.
Get Baby to Want to be Worn FAQ
How do I get my baby to stop fighting the carrier?
Start by regulating yourself first: take a few slow breaths, relax your shoulders, and approach calmly. Babies pick up on your tension, and a calm caregiver makes the transition much easier. Then check the basics: hunger, a wet diaper, or uncomfortable clothing are common culprits.
Why does my older baby suddenly hate the carrier?
As babies grow, they become more curious about the world and want more freedom to explore. If your baby was engaged in something like playing, exploring, or watching their surroundings, being scooped up abruptly can feel frustrating to them. Try checking in on what they're doing before you transition them into the carrier, and if possible, bring that activity with you.
What can I do to make babywearing more enjoyable for my toddler?
Make it fun from the start. Offer a small toy to hold, a safe snack like puffs or yogurt bites, or turn the carrier session into a dance party. Heading outside or doing something visually interesting while you wear them also helps them associate the carrier with good things.
Is it okay to stop trying if my baby doesn't want to be carried?
Yes. If it's safe to put them down, put them down. Babywearing is a co-occupation, meaning it works best when both of you are willing. Respecting your baby's signals now actually builds a foundation of trust that makes future carries easier. There will be other moments when they're happy to be worn.
What if I can't put my baby down — like in a parking lot or a busy place?
Sometimes babywearing is a genuine safety need, and that's okay to name out loud. You can tell your toddler simply: "We can walk if you hold my hand. If you can't hold my hand, you'll go in the carrier." Then follow through calmly. Even babies too young to fully understand will get used to experiencing a clear, consistent boundary.
What's the best baby carrier for an older baby or toddler who resists being worn?
A carrier that goes on quickly and doesn't require a lot of fussing is your best bet. Less setup time means less opportunity for resistance to build. The Lark Baby Carrier (from 10 lbs) and the ring sling are both good options for quick-up carries with older babies and toddlers. The Lark Kid Carrier supports toddlers in size 3T and up through 65 lbs.
Does babywearing actually benefit older babies, or is it mainly for newborns?
Babywearing benefits babies and toddlers at every stage. For older babies and toddlers, being worn supports emotional regulation, offers comfort during overwhelming situations, and keeps them close when safety or logistics require it while still allowing caregivers to stay hands-free. The carriers change as they grow, but the benefits don't stop.
When should I give up on babywearing altogether?
You don't have to. Hard moments are part of the process, not a sign that babywearing isn't for you. Reconnecting with why you started — the closeness, the bonding, the convenience — can help you through a rough patch. Most caregivers find that with the right carrier, a little patience, and some playfulness, babywearing becomes easier again.
The right carrier makes hard moments easier.
A quick, easy, and intuitive carrier can turn a tough transition into a snuggle. Whether your little one is a wiggly older baby or a tantrumming toddler, we have a size-inclusive carrier that fits your body and your stage.Meet the Author
Jordan Morillo
Jordan Morillo OTR/L, Certified Babywearing Consultant is a maternal health occupational therapist and first time mom based in Columbus, OH. She became inspired to start her private practice focused on providing babywearing education and sensory wellness support to postpartum families after her own journey with her son’s NICU stay and struggles with PPA. When she’s not working, Jordan loves cooking with her family and going on outdoor adventures with her toddler. You can find her and her work here or follow along on instagram!
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